I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
