i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize