You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
