My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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