doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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