I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize