Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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