I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize