Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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