i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
