I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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