Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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