am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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