I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize