One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
the raccoons are back...
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