...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
