No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
