Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
