her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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