When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
