remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
