You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
