who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
