Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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