I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
