I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
