Yo dont text me then not text me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
