the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize