Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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