Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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