I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
