I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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