I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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