absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
