i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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