I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
