Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
