if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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