believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
