ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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