I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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