IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
