Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
