i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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