so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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