He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
