whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
