PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
