have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
this will be a night to untag.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
