I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
