I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
