im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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