Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
