well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
