How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
