You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hippo gnu deer
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
