i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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