I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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