I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can you bring me the toilet please
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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