1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's shark week go big or go home
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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