its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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