i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
