You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
