No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
