He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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