why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
