my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
foreskin is a definite game changer
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize
